nvm the depressive episode is NOT over and im going to crawl back into my pathetic little depressive isolation hellhole

terrible experience to realize how little you occupy your own life and how you don't matter at all to everyone sans like. 2 people

the only thing worse than being horrifically depressed is being that AND no one in your life giving a fuck. mortifying ordeal

(hit with an overwhelming wave of grief over my own pathetic misery) oh. okay. we're not unpacking that anytime soon. back to being fauxbusy

sighs. think i might just bury myself back down again in my books. at least language has always been there for me. my one constant companion

chat you know we're cooked when i'm looking up things like 'do you NEED to have friends' and 'is it OK to not have friends' fml. lmao

people. can't live with them, can't live without them. terrible quality of the human condition

well, time to sadboy post on reddit or something

(grimacing) logically i know theyre right. emotionally it feels as if i might as very well not bother given how little impact it has

hesitantly peering out after a reclusive self isolating depressive episode and realizing nothing substantially is different. god above

i NEED some sort of externally imposed structure or my depression eats me alive. academia ruined my brain chemistry for real

bro's latest depressive episode has revealed the grand total of 2 (two) people who would probably find my corpse

(crawling and coughing up blood) i think that the acute phase of my depressive episode has perhaps. passed now

klint painting on a tiny notebook i can never commit to using staring at me serenely on my desk

metallic one coat nailpolishes in jewel tones are the love of my life

have a nasty bruise in the shape of a ring around my finger. ouch

ate a bakery loaf of bread (soft) and some meat for dinner. mouse as fuck meal. redwall goofy guy

it's surprisingly easy to gone girl yourself. disappearing from the margins of peoples lives like a ghost on the midnight lake

the more and more that i withdraw into myself the more profoundly disturbing of an experience it becomes. weirdly freeing though

fucked my throat up by catastrophically messing up taking my pills somehow?! and now swallowing sucks. feels like im suffocating