the best part being off my meds (besides the literal OCD suicidal thoughts and being insufferable) are the brain & tongue zaps!!!!

just learned i've been off my meds that keep me from killing myself lol i hate insurance (yes it messes me up so fast i immediately forget)

if anyone tries to 5150 me i will bite, punch, kick, scratch, and spit on the officers who come to get me so they're forced to shoot me dead

if i lived in canada they would have let me done assisted suicide by now i totally qualify for it damn

sororicide fetish

i want to rend the flesh off my foes (i have no greater enemy than myself)

nobody loves me everybody hates me guess i'll go eat worms

i want to be subjected to unimaginable pain. i want to feel so afraid, so small that i actually beg for my life. i want to be left for dead

i wish i could erase my existence from my mom's brain so i could kill myself without hurting her

but i'm too scared of what killing myself would do to my mom. she can't handle that right now after losing her dog...

if i killed myself everyone would inherit a tiny morsel of my pain and finally understand how much i am suffering and they would love me

i wish i wasn't too cowardly to kill myself. if i killed myself everyone would love me again and wish they were nicer. then i would matter.

moving. dented the rental van really bad. family dog died today. pray for me please i am so dizzy with stress

alive, unfortunately

been testing the waters not responding to friends or family for weeks. i think i'll be able to do this. no one will call 911 this time

no one will miss me when im gone. they will be sad when they hear what happened to me, but it will be like a papercut. then i will disappear

despite all my rage i am still just a rat in a cage

idk maybe i shouldn't kill myself... it's so hard when i have these moments of mild clarity...

once again with another lover the question: are they malicious or incompetent? those things affect me in the same way tho

there is no place for me in this world, in this home