back on my antidepressants thanks to my counselor. very good thing but very bad side effects from restarting. i feel like a walking ulcer.
clamo
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- im sorry ive been off my meds against my will please dont hate me too much i know ive been horrible the past few days trust me its even worse to be in my head im so sorry i know i alienate friends and strangers alike by being the way that i am cos ive been suicidal since i was 9/10 and my parents didnt let me get therapy even tho i begged for help so i sat with those thoughts for a decade without getting help and ive been in therapy for over a decade now but that shit doesnt like fix you there isnt a handbook for surviving a lifetime of abuse then losing your son cos it feels like i am being flayed alive and i pray no one reading this can relate but i know someone can and i am sorry to you more than anyone else
Statuses
i cant believe im having to fight so hard just to get the meds that keep me alive. why only give me 2 days worth of meds for 2 weeks???
the world is a vampire
i had to answer the phone AND answer the door AND i have to leave the house today this is all so much more than my delicate mind can handle
i can't get over a offhand jab she made the other day when we were arguing. i know deep down she wants me gone.
begging for my meds i told nurse i was in withdrawal & sick & having brain zaps and he literally said "that's fine" see why im suicidal?!!!!
if gf mab pa-15 has a thousand fans i will be one. if gf mab pa-15 has one fan i am that fan. if gf mab pa-15 has no fans i am dead.
pooping with the door open to assert dominance
praying for those affected by the fires </3
fat pussy like santa
it's an insane person thing, you wouldn't get it
giving the worms in my brain a few more silly pills in exchange for not forcing me to kms as urgently (how does this not Disabled?)
but naw i was told to put that mentally ill suicidal shit away. shove it in the closet with that faggotry, that sjw bs, that artist shit...
if only you knew how my mother reacted when i told her i was suicidal when i was 10... you'd understand my desperate fight to stay visible..
"you are just begging for attention" y-yes? im scared of killing myself? why is a crazy/suicidal person expected to behave rationally????
sorry again
feel like i should be posting an hourly apology on here for being visibly insane and pissing off everyone who sees my posts im so pathetic
the best part being off my meds (besides the literal OCD suicidal thoughts and being insufferable) are the brain & tongue zaps!!!!
just learned i've been off my meds that keep me from killing myself lol i hate insurance (yes it messes me up so fast i immediately forget)
if anyone tries to 5150 me i will bite, punch, kick, scratch, and spit on the officers who come to get me so they're forced to shoot me dead