new year going great i cant get along w my partner and now my favorite artist i was proud to be moots with unfollowed me on twitter :)

i want to stop making her life worse but im too fucking stupid and volatile

stuck in place. my limbs lock up and my brain shuts down, and i have to fight to stay awake. my body has long since given up

i am a husk of the person i used to be. an irreparable burden, wasting everyone's time and resources keeping such a useless fool alive

she despises me

she fucking hates me

next year can't be much worse ig

court date set... o__O;;; scary scary scary

my favorite shit is when i tell someone they hurt me and they tell me i'm being crazy

exhausted

i updated my portfolio:) https://cl4m0.art/portfolio

i feel like i am being belittled, berated, and barked at

thinkin about my wbc ;;-;;

pray my dr wont give me shit abt my diet... i literally only have access to pizza and samosas.... i PREFER greens and nuts and lean meat...

lmao my ldls are kinda high but i live in a food desert. only g store walk distance is amzn even if i wanted theyre closed wknds/nights

thankful a place i applied 4 did a pre-interview. job hunting while disabled is wretched, and it means i have 1 less job to apply 4 dis week

my ultrasound went ok but my white blood cell count is high but i haven't been sick ;;-;;

me: everything sucks and i want to kms ashnikko weedkiller album: me: nvm :)

ultrasound today. scared they'll find something. scared they won't.

wallowing in a pit of my own self-loathing